Tinder-Nightmares and Co.

Hello and Welcome Back, you Brave Combatants of Exam Period Numero 3!

Just as the exams started, the good weather was gone again. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing because we are not missing out on the rare sunshine that actually makes it until Groningen, or if it is a bad thing because it constitutes, additionally to exam stress, another frustration factor. Either way, I thought, if the sun is gone, I’ll just bring a little sunshine myself into your life. Uhh, that was cheesy, hmm? Well, anyway, this post is supposed to make you laugh and forget for a few minutes about the approaching orange horror of Aletta-Jacob. And since the Tinder-Swindler is apparently the newest Netflix trend, I was wondering, “What would interest people more than some, well, “nice” dating stories?” So I’ve asked you to send me your personal tinder-nightmares, bumble-disasters and dating dilemmas. No worries, compared to the Tinder-Swindler, yours are rather funny than frightful. Sporadically spicy. 

 

• I had a first date with a girl, half Swiss, half Thai. Thus, I wanted to impress her with my cooking skills and especially with my resistance to spicy food. So I made some excellent pasta with spicy sauce and Madame Jeanette peppers. Well, the food was great, and the date was going pretty well, so long story short, one thing led to another. The next thing I saw was her jumping and screaming. So listen well, peeps, wash your hands after cutting Madame Jeanette peppers. Despite the little dilemma, the good thing is that she became my girlfriend for two years.

• Back in 2019, I had a date with a girl, a police officer, at her place. I drove 30 minutes to her place, but when I eventually arrived, I realised that she had a dog. The dog itself would not have been a problem, but he was extremely smelly and kept jumping on me. After a bit more than an hour, I decided to leave because I was really uncomfortable. Not my best move, but I ghosted her after that. Months later, I got into a car accident. Well, the police had to come. Guess who was the officer in charge. 

• A personal note from the author: short story but definitely my favourite. I once went to London to meet a girl. The girl never showed up.

• It was not actually a date, but I met this girl at a party and found her pretty attractive and nice. When I told my friend, he “warned” me and said I would figure out myself why. Hours later, I went for a little walk with her, we had a nice chat, and everything was going well. However, when we started to kiss, she licked my face from chin to forehead.

• I had a date with a guy I met on Bumble. I must say, it was actually a nice date, we went to a bar and had some drinks together. The problem only started the next day when he sent me a link to a playlist he created for and named after me. The name of the first song: I fall in love too easily”. Later the day, he texted me about how obsessed he was with me, that I’m his “everything”, and he confessed his love. I’m very glad Bumble has a blocking function. 

• It’s a little embarrassing because it is not like the guy ruined the date or embarrassed himself. Nope, I was the problem. It was our second date, and I really liked him. We were at his place; he still lived with his parents because we were still in high school back then. His parents had a sauna, and we were home alone, so of course, we had to take advantage of that. The first few minutes were very nice, relaxing and chill. Well, somehow, my circulation was not as chill as I was. His parents eventually figured out we used the sauna because I puked right into it. 

• My story didn’t start with a date. I was only partying in a club in Amsterdam when I met this couple. They seemed fun, a little older than I was, but we got along pretty well. The clubs had still closing hours back then, so we had to leave at 1 am. They asked me if I would want to join an afterparty, and I was like, “Yes, sure, why not?”. Well, it was only when I was in their apartment already that I’ve realised that this was no invitation to a conventional afterparty. There were no other guests, and the party was supposed to be in their bedroom. I think I’ve never left a “party” earlier. 

 

I must say, I never had more fun writing a blog post, and I hope you had just as much fun reading it. However, peeps, be careful while dating, especially if you have met the person online. Always let your friends know where you are, who you are with and if possible, send them a live location. Be safe! And please keep sharing these stories, you literally made my day!

And now, go back to studying, you’ve got this!!

 

Written by Elli Winetsdorfer.